CASH MACHINES

Joke of the Day Posted on | September 8, 2010 | No Comments

Please note that with the arrival of new “Drive- through” cash point machines, customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Male Procedure

1) Drive up to the cash machine
2) Wind down your car window
3) Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4) Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5) Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6) Wind up window

Female Procedure

1) Drive up to cash machine
2) Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3) Re-start the stalled engine
4) Wind down the window
5) Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
6) Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7) Attempt to insert card into machine
Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car
9) Insert card
10) Re- insert card right way up
11) Re- enter the handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12) Enter PIN
13) Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14) Enter amount of cash required
15) Re-cheek make-up in rear view mirror
16) Retrieve cash and receipt
17) Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18) Place receipt in back of cheque book
19) Re-check make-up again
20) Drive forward 2 metres
21) Reverse back to cash machine
22) Retrieve card
23) Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided
24) Re-check make-up
25) Restart stalled engine and pull off
26) Drive for 3 to 4 miles
27) Release hand brake