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Joke of the Day For Everybody

Topic on Sports

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 31, 2008 | 1 Comment

Three men were chatting in the pub. The topic was on sports. The China Man from Taiwan said: “I have four daughters, one more I can form a basketball team.” The rich tycoon from Indonesia said: “I have five sons, one more I can have a volleyball team.” The third wealthy man from the Middle East has no children. After some hesitation, he said: “I have 17 wives, one more I can have a golf course.”

Why Tamil Ladies are always looking for sex

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 30, 2008 | No Comments

Tamil ladies are always looking for sex. Each time they come across a guy, they would fold their hands, look down and say “wannacum”?????
(“Wannacum” in tamil actually means “hello”!)

Cinderella and Pinocchio

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 29, 2008 | 1 Comment

Once upon a time Cinderella was so horny so she put Pinocchio’s nose between her legs and shouted, “Lie to me Bastard, Lie!!”

Get it????

Most Uncomplimentary Drawing

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 28, 2008 | No Comments

A high school teacher arrived late for class to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of himself on the blackboard. Fuming, he asked the class, “Who is responsible for this atrocity?!”

The class clown won tremendous prestige among his peers by answering, “I really don’t know, but I strongly suspect his parents.”

What should I do to marry a rich guy?

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 27, 2008 | No Comments

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names And addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I¹ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

– Ms. Pretty

Here’s a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money”: Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term ­ same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advise that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.
signed, J.P. Morgan

Condoms with Pesticide

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 26, 2008 | No Comments

A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the Pharmacist, “I want one condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find ’em?”

The pharmacist replied, “Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE, not pesticide. They’re on aisle 4.”

“No, no, I want me them that condoms with PESTICIDE on it,” growled the farmer.

“Sir,” said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining, “PESTICIDE is for killing insects, SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm. I’m sure that you mean spermicide instead of pesticide.”

“Listen here, ” argued the farmer, “I want condoms with PESTICIDE on it, my wife’s got a bug up her ass, and I aim to kill it.”

Circumcised

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 25, 2008 | No Comments

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him go down to the principal’s office, he was to phone his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. “I thought I told you to call your mom.” she screamed.

“I did,” he said, “And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school.”

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 24, 2008 | 1 Comment

Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Mini Skirt

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 23, 2008 | No Comments

It was the late 1960s and the miniskirt was at its height – in more ways than one. I was 19 and had the figure to go with the look of the time – long legged and skinny.

I was a junior typist in an office attached to a factory, so the office staff was mostly made up of men and a couple of middle aged women who did the accounts.

I had a long bus journey to work every day and this particular day it was raining hard, so I was wearing a raincoat over my miniskirt – which was made of synthetic material – and I wore a pair of sheer nylon pantyhose as well.

The bus got in slightly late, so I arrived when everyone had just settled into their places. I took my coat off and the entire office gaped. Then all the men let out a big cheer and started whistling and the two women’s expressions were very prim and disapproving.

I looked down and saw that during the bus journey, my skirt (already short) had risen up all the way and was now around my waist!!! They never let me forget it until I left when I moved out of the area a year later!

Maid

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 22, 2008 | No Comments

A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She blamed her maid in front of her husband. The maid replied: ” Sir! you should know very well I don’t wear any underwear!”

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