Low Bridge
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 9, 2008 | No Comments
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed a sign that said “low bridge ahead.”
Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under the bridge. You could say that he got a rock solid “Trucker’s Wedgie.”
Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver said, “No officer,… I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!”
The Most Tactful People on Earth
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 8, 2008 | No Comments
Some of the most tactful people on Earth are English. One office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with: “Miss Symthe, I really don’t know how we’re going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we’re going to try.
Why Aging Isn’t So Bad
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 7, 2008 | No Comments
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
How to get more business
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 6, 2008 | No Comments
When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job himself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?”
“Actually, it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first.”
A Little Kinky Sex
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 5, 2008 | No Comments
A married guy was out getting a little kinky sex when he suffered a massive heart attack and died…
The undertaker called his wife as he was preparing the body, saying, “Your late husband died with a tremendous erection that we can’t get to go away… What would you like us to do?”
To which she replied, “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me… Cut it off and stuff it in his ass.”
When she went to view the body she noticed a somewhat pained expression on her deceased husband’s face as he lay in the casket… Bending over him she said softly…
“Hurts, doesn’t it?”
Larger Bill
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 4, 2008 | No Comments
Susie and Jane were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place their order. There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”
Jane says to Susie, pointing to the sign, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.”
A Coast Guard Officer
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 3, 2008 | No Comments
True Story
A friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn’t have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance.
A Coast Guard officer responded, “Please give your location.”
“I’m on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish.”
The officer paused, “Could you repeat that?”
“I-75, two miles south of Standish.”
A longer pause. Then an incredulous voice asked, “How fast were you going when you hit shore?”
Three Things in Life a Man Wants
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 2, 2008 | No Comments
The husband says, “There are three things in life a man wants:
The first thing is a nice big truck. And you see that nice big truck sitting out there??? That’s my nice truck!!!
The second thing in life a man wants is a nice big house. You seen that nice big house on top of the hill on the edge of town? That’s my big house!!!
The third thing in life a man wants is a nice tight pussy, and I had that until fat head came along!!!
UNLUCKY number
Joke of the Day Posted on | February 1, 2008 | No Comments
I was checking every room, making sure no one is about.
I checked every floor, and found out that no one is in the building.
I pressed on the lift, and waited for the lift to reach the 84th floor.
The door opened, and I stepped inside.
It went down..
Down..
Down…..
And reached the 52th floor.
A gorgeous lady stepped in.
I was wondering why was a gorgeous blonde in a dark building at a time like this.
Then when the lift reached the 13th floor, everything went out.
I thought.. : ” Thirteen.. 13!! It’s the UNLUCKY number!”
A smell spreaded throughout the lift, a smell that spelled D-E-A-T-H.
I was shivering, and for one second I thought I peed on my pants.
The light came on and the blonde was looking at me and said…
” Sorry, I just farted.. “
Contributed By – Sharonn Gwee
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