Short Jokes
Funny Jokes Posted on Tuesday, October 09, 2007 by Author @ 10:54 PM
"HOW was your blind date?" a college student asked her room-mate."Terrible!" the room-mate answered."He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
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Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did. The bottle said, "keep tightly closed."
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Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love
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Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
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Manager : Sorry,but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
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Dad : "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her."
Son : (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid.
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Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."
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"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
"That's nice of her to take such an interest. What did she say when u told her u are the only child?"
"She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"
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Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday."
Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"
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A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher."'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."
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Tooth extraction
Patient : How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist : $90.00.
Patient : $90.00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist : I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."
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