Male Organ
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 10, 2006 | No Comments
Question : Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. America : Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms. America : Because it stands every time it sees a woman…
(Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms. Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Spain : Male organs in our country are like our very own bullfight or toro(bull).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms. Spain : Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
(Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms. Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Philippines : Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumours.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms. Philippines : Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms. Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Iran : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms. Iran: Because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms. India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. India : Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms. India : Because it works day and night….
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms. Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Malaysia : Well, I can say that Male organs in Malaysia are like the Proton car.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms. Malaysia : Looks tough but actually very soft.
Question : Ms. Singapore, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms. Singapore : Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms. Singapore : It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.
Toothpaste
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 9, 2006 | 1 Comment
A little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he’s getting dressed. She points to his dick and says, “Daddy, what’s that?” Not wanting to explain sex to her yet, he says, “Uh, I can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”
The little girl finds her mother and asks, “What is that long thing between Daddy’s legs?” Her mother also doesn’t want to explain sex yet, so she says, “I don’t know, he won’t tell me.”
A couple days later the little girl says to her mother, “Mommy, I finally figured out what that thing between Daddy’s legs is. It’s a toothbrush!”
“Why do you think that?” the amused mother asks.
“Because,” the little girl says, “this morning I saw the maid sliding it in and out of her mouth and she had toothpaste dripping down her chin.”
Snow in June
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 8, 2006 | No Comments
A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts.
“Say, what’s your name, mister?” she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck.
“It’s Snow … Roy Snow,” he answered, “and what’s yours?”
“Me, I’m June … June Hansen,” she said.
After a short while she asked, “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?”
“Can you imagine what it might be like,” he countered, ….having eight inches of Snow in June?”
Special Code
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 7, 2006 | No Comments
A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children wouldn’t know what they were talking about. They would ask “could I take in your laundry tonight ?”
so the kids couldn’t understand. Husband comes home from work one night and asked “Honey, can I take in your laundry tonight? No not tonight was her reply. No big deal as he has come home many nights without getting any.
They following night he comes home from work and asks “Honey, can I take in your laundry tonight? again her reply was No, not tonight.
This goes on several more nights, and the exasperated man always get the same answer, No, not tonight.
So the following night the man comes home from work, never says a thing to his wife, but goes straight to bed.
In the morning his wife is somewhat worried (knowing how horney he is) and asks “Honey, how come you didn’t want to take in my washing last night?
“Didn’t even think about it” he replies, I only had a small load so I did it by hand.
Where I Live
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 6, 2006 | No Comments
An old man was sitting on a bench crying when a lady approached him and asked if she could help. The old man said. “Well, last week I got married to beautiful 25 year old woman who really loves me very much”. So the lady said that she thought that was very lovely but she did not understand why he was crying.
The old man replied, “I can’t remember where I live!”
Contribut By – Bazza
Beautiful Words
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 5, 2006 | No Comments
A young couple goes to visit an old couple for dinner. The old husband tells his wife “My beloved angel, bring the soup”. When they’re done “My precious, bring the roast”. And when they’re finished that he says “My dear princess, please bring the dessert”. They finish eating and then the women go to the kitchen. While alone, the young man asks the old one “How do you do it? After so many years, saying such beautiful words to your wife?” “Well, I have to… I forgot her name!”
Bartender
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 4, 2006 | No Comments
A man walked into a bar one night. He went up to the bar and asked for a beer.
“Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.”
“ONE CENT!” exclaimed the guy, the barman replied, “Yes.”
So the guy glanced over at the menu, and he asked, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?”
“Certainly sir, that’ll be 4 cents,” he replies.
“FOUR cents!!!!” exclaimed the guy.
“Where’s the Guy who owns this place?” The barman replied,
“Upstairs with my wife.” The guy said,
“What’s he doing with your wife?”
The bartender replied, “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”
My Bike
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 3, 2006 | No Comments
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, “This is a tree.” The chieflooks at the tree and grunts, “Tree.” The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, “This is a rock.” Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts,”Rock.” The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of going at it big time. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, “Riding a bike.” The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, “My bike.”
How do you know a guy is a virgin
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 2, 2006 | No Comments
A very ‘straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and must be a ‘virgin’.
With these advice from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to her kampung to get her mother’s blessings to marry. “Mother, I’ve met the my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn’t that being faithful?”
Her mother nodded in agreement. “Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, they’ll share one room only. Isn’t he not thrifty guy?”
For the second time her mother nodded her head in agreement, but with a little concern.
“And finally mum…, I know he is a virgin” “How did you know he is still a virgin?”
The mother asked with repidition. “MMM…his ‘that one’ is still new and hard….all wrapped up in plastic, mum!”
Wetting Finger
Joke of the Day Posted on | September 1, 2006 | No Comments
At Night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep, and the husband put his A typical married couple were lying in bed one bedside light on to read a book. As he was reading, he paused, reached over and started fondling his wife’s pussy. He did this only for a short while. Then he resumed reading his book.
He did this several times and his wife became gradually more aroused. She thought her husband was seeking some sort of response as an encouragement to go further. She got up, and stripped in front of him. The husband was confused by this behavior. He asked, “What are you doing? Why are you taking off your night shirt?” The wife replied, “You were fingering me, I thought it was foreplay and that you wanted to make love tonight.” The husband said, “No, not at all.” The wife asked, “Then what the hell were you doing?” The husband replied, “I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.”
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